I have come to the conclusion that I wish I were eighteen again. I base my findings on the following evidence. Yesterday, after returning home from class and work, I sat down to find prices for some of my old comic books. I plan on selling them on eBay or something. Well, I ended up reading comic books for about 6 hours!!! WTF!? I checked the dates. The last time I actually bought a comic book was in 1995! I was a baby first year at UVA. And yet, here I was, happy as a clam, reading comic books instead of reading for my class, or checking my email, or anything else? Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that I harbor a subconscious desire to be 18 again.
Given this desire, I am forced to extrapolate some meaning from the situation. I have decided to compare my life 10 years ago to my life today. If it turns out that life was better back then, I will embark on a quest to retrieve my youth. If it turns out that life today is better than it was back in the day, then I will have proven my subconscious mind FALSE, and can continue my life without its irrational prattling.
18 years old
In the best shape of my life.
About to enter college
Job = lifeguard; coach a swim team during the summer
Had an awesome tan
Car = Mom’s 1984 Oldsmobile station wagon
Living accommodations = parents’ house
In the third month of an awesome and fun relationship
28 years old
NOT in the best shape, but I can still do pushups.
About to go to grad school full-time (weird)
Job = making good money in a parish.
Pale and a lot hairier
Car = My 2000 Honda Civic
Living = a house I own with my sister
Relationship = N/A
Oh, and I’m a lot smarter than I used to be.
Looks to me like I’ve got it better now than I did back then. I should have known. It is never a productive enterprise to look backward to some kind of “golden age” that never really existed. Of course, looking forward to a utopian age that will never exist is no good either. It is always better to live in today. AWESOME! My subconscious has been thwarted! Comic books NUTHIN’! Where’s that Primer on Postmodernism? I’ve got some real reading to catch up on!