Thursday, April 16, 2009

Mr. Sensitivity

That's some other guy. I on the other hand, am the big jerk husband who, for whatever reason, didn't foresee that going to Target and buying a few toys and clothes for my one-year-old daughter without her mother present and then opened them and let her play all afternoon with the new fun stuff (again - no mommy) would in fact make her mom feel miserable about missing out on these new experiences in her baby girl's life. If any of that came across snarky or sarcastic, I certainly don't mean for it to. I'm really pissed off at myself for not being as tuned in to my wife's feelings as I truly ought to be. And shit like this happens immer wieder (look it up in your German-English dictionary).

I am pretty sensitive; I can almost always tell when she's upset about something. However, I currently lack the skills necessary to know what that something is and, more importantly, I seem to lack the ability to avoid doing things that will upset/piss off/generally displease her. I don't mind pissing her off once in a while - usually it turns out good. I eventually learn something that benefits the relationship in the future. General displeasure isn't such a big deal either. We are different people and occasionally what one of us does is going to rub the other the wrong way. What I hate - HATE - is when I really upset her; when one of my many human failings butts up against her passionately felt and dearly held emotions. This feels like one of those times.

I am having difficulty being both a good dad and a good husband simultaneously. At any given moment, I can do a good job at one or the other. The thing is, I want to be a great husband. The best. I want to be a great dad. The best. But I keep getting in the way.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Bi-lingual Baby

Vivian knows a few words in at least two different languages. She knows dog, more, and food in ASL and she can say dada and book (kinda) in English. Not even a year old and bi-lingual. Heh. She also may know a few words of Tagalog, but I'm not going to say which ones. (How she picked up the curse words I'll never know, but I suspect her Lolo is responsible.) Next, I think I'm going to have to teach her German and Spanish. That shouldn't take much more than a month or two. Of course, I'll have to learn them first.

Oh, by the way, I just checked out the good ol' What to Expect: The First Year and found that the fact that Vivian runs around like a little spaz, wants our complete and undivided attention at all times except when we give it too her, and "understands the word 'no', but may not obey" are all perfectly normal things for a not-quite-one-year-old to be doing. That's a relief. On the other hand - the book assures me that all these behaviors become amplified to the nth degree as she progresses through toddler-hood. Yikes.