Friday, October 22, 2010

Potty Training Panic Attack

Fatherhood Friday at Dad BlogsHow the heck am I going to get my daughter to poop in a potty?  I can't get her to come to me when I call, or do anything I say.  I never saw any of the "signs" she was ready to potty-train.  She's never given a dang about hauling a load around in her pants, and if you don't actually catch her having a BM, you won't know about it until you smell it.  She doesn't care.  I just watched her sit on that damn potty bare-ass for 10-15 minutes immediately after a snack and some water while she read a book and just chilled out; she never peed!  Then, I gave up (if she doesn't want to you shouldn't force her right?), put on her training pants, and thirty seconds later it was full.  GAH!

I'm afraid I don't have the patience for this kind of aggravation.  I've read that if I lose it and wig out during potty-training, I may scar her forever and it will take even longer.  That's way more pressure than I ever wanted to deal with.  Both of the methods with which I am most familiar require constant vigilance and impeccable consistency.  I'm not good with either of those in this context.  So far, I've got a perfect record making sure she doesn't eat, touch, swim in, fall off of, or inhale anything that will kill her or too many of her brain cells at once.  I have reveled in my own ignorance regarding when and where she pees.  If I change her every three hours (plus whenever she smells like crap) she stays clean and dry and happy.  It's a good system. 

I'm considering putting her in underwear for a weekend to let her figure it out for herself.  She's pretty smart, and I can clean up as she learns.  I'll just take a look around the apartment every 3 hours or when something smells like crap.  Clean.  Dry.  Happy.  That's me!  Now, which weekend?  It will have to be one during which we have nothing else going on.  Let me check my calendar.  Second weekend in January looks free.  Crap.

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