Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Something Snappy

I admit it. I’ve been avoiding discussing the party-thing that happened a couple Saturdays ago. To be honest – it was fun watching all the rumors, explanations, innuendos, etc. unfold without my input. The credit goes to Termite and Chimera for most of that. Though House’s tenacious search for details is certainly amusing.

So. Let me paint the picture… (insert cheesy flashback music here – probably a harp or something…)

That afternoon, the two young ladies who have taken up residence in my basement had just begun to move in their stuff. Consequently, boxes were strewn about the basement and that was about it. I did leave them my television and xbox (which I plan to reclaim as soon as I graduate), so that was available for the use of the guests.

I need to thank H and V for their suggestions for the food. While it may appear to some that I did not take them to heart, you two were instrumental in redirecting my thought processes in a more productive direction – namely, frozen prepared food that you just need to heat up and eat. Hence, the choice of a nice big frozen lasagna – yum. I began working on it just an hour or two before dinner-time.

When I say “working,” what I really mean is, “I put the lasagna in the oven and started drinking.” For some reason, our God in Heaven saw fit to reveal to me a largely unused bottle of Absolut Vanilla Vodka which I had previously hidden (and forgot about) under the frozen broccoli. By the time Termite, Chimera, H & J arrived, I was feeling fine.

From there, eating and drinking ensued. We were outside, we were inside. We listened to bawdy music that Chimera brought over. We played Uno with “Family Guy” Uno cards which inspired tons of Stewie, Quagmire, and Peter impersonations. All of them were dead on! (Or was I drunk?) We ate lasagna and I grossed everyone out by sharing some of mine with my bulldog (okay – so maybe I shoulda used a different fork at least). I then took the whole bunch downstairs to show them what I referred to as, “my new favorite thing.” You see, apparently, one of the renter ladies is something of an artist. For one of her projects, she did a plaster cast of her own nude chest. This was one of the things she decided to move into the basement earlier that day and place (no joke) on the MANTLE of the FIREPLACE. Yes – I would call that a conversation piece.

Well, since we were there, and all of us were of the same persuasion, we commenced to playing video games. Well, actually, we only played one game. It is one of those fighting games where even the novice can feel the thrill of victory by pushing all the buttons really fast. We had a blast. We were loud, apparently. [This is where H showed up and apparently rang the doorbell. None of us heard it and she left. We suck just a little bit for that.] Almost of one mind, we all got up and decided we were finished playing games – video games that is.

Here’s where things start to get fuzzy for me. That is some things are fuzzy. Others stand out with remarkable clarity. We all head back upstairs. We turn the music on again (the same song) and went outside to converse and drink. At some point, H & J departed and Chimera, Termite and me continued our conversation on the back porch. Deep talk of course: this means I was talking out of my ass. This happens much more easily when I’m inebriated. Fortunately, Chimera is equally adept at calling me on it no matter what her current level of impairment might be. (Apparently she was pretty well impaired – as evidenced by her multiple failing attempts to walk a straight line.)

To close, I will merely state that Termite headed home, while Chimera (just a little too drunk to drive) decided to remain and sleep at my house. This, when coupled with comments made by my bloggin’ buddies, has given rise to all sorts of speculation. None of which I want to address right now. HA!


  1. How eloquent! And just think - when Chimera comes back that one last time (is it this Friday or next?) we get to do it all over again!!!

  2. 'lil sis1:23 PM

    So THAT's what that was on the fireplace mantel!!

  3. da monkey2:02 PM

    That's funny...she did the same thing (had to drunkenly crash at my place for the night) several years ago, giving rise to exactly the same sort of speculation...

  4. Apparently, one can not help but speculate where she is concerned. While others could have done the exact same thing, with her it becomes a "thing." Interesting...

  5. hey! I resemble that. It's ok, y'all can gossip about my fabulosity as much as you like. You *still* love this ass! ;)