Thursday, July 28, 2005

Breakfast Madness!

There's nothing better than a good breakfast. You know what I mean: a couple eggs, some toast, oragnge juice and coffee. Good stuff all the way. As long as someone else is making it.

Here's what I mean. I decided this morning that, since I had all the fixin's, I would make myself the above specified breakfast. So the coffee goes on first. No problem there - I make coffee every morning - it's the easiest thing about breakfast. You just have to get it going and then forget about it. Then the eggs. The eggs can make or break your breakfast. Unfortunately, they are not as user-friendly as the coffee. You can't just put on the eggs and forget about them and pick them up when you're ready. So, while the eggs are just getting started, I make the orange juice and throw a piece of bread in the toaster. All the while, the sizzling of the eggs is getting more and more (how can I put this) urgent. I'm stirring the OJ trying to get it done and then...


The toast pops! The eggs are all like, "OVER MEDIUM YOU IDIOT!" The coffee is done! I flip the eggs in a desperate attempt to save that "just right-ness" of the yoke I love so much. The toast is getting cold! I get those eggs out of the pan and onto the plate as fast as I can - breaking the yoke in the process. (CENSORED!) By now (it's been about 7 seconds) the toast is cold and has not the heat to melt the friggin' margerine! I pour my glass of orange juice and sit down at the table with my broken eggs (the yoke was too hard for my taste) and my cold toast. By now I'm so jacked up that I eat my entire breakfast in (wait for it...) 13 seconds FLAT!

DANG IT! I can't even rememeber what eggs TASTE like any more! I can't wait to live at home with my parents next month so I can actually enjoy my breakfast. Dad can do the eggs, mom can handle the toast, and I'll take care of the coffee and the orange juice.

As for this morning... well, thank God the coffee was good.


  1. No need to exploit your parents: McDonald's breakfast combo number 2, dude. $3.14. Can't beat it!

  2. I believe you are enableing my addiction... Fine by me. I luv McD's!

  3. Dude, don't be pulled into the McDonalds breakfast combos!!! Go with diet coke at least ;-)