Anyone with a toddler knows that, when she is ill and cannot go to daycare, or on playdates, or... anywhere really, her illness severely restricts one's productivity. This is frustrating for those of us who are not employed outside the home. I tend to view myself and even value myself based upon what various tasks I accomplish each day. This is probably an unhealthy way to see oneself, but I make sure to include in those "various tasks" things that are good for me as well as simply productive: writing in a journal, sketching a picture, listening to my favorite comedy podcast , shaving, showering (yes, I have to put this on my list), going to the gym, and so forth. If I get all of that done and still have time at the end of the day, I give myself permission to veg a bit before starting dinner and finishing the day. When Vivian is sick, however, my list is limited to those tasks I can accomplish in the home.
I love any task that gets me out of the apartment. Grocery shopping, the post office, museum, the dry cleaners, the drug store, the park, and anything that might be considered an "errand" makes me feel great. Vivian's current ailment makes me wary of excursions outside the home, and therefore I am suffering a bit of cabin fever. I haven't been to the gym all week (which means my knees are giving me trouble). I'm also out of a few basic supplies which I would normally replenish at the grocery store tomorrow. I guess it's a good thing that the weather has been so ugly this week, because I'd be even more distressed if it were perfect and gorgeous (like it's supposed to be tomorrow and over the weekend). Rainy-day games are great for sick little toddlers, but daddy needs to get out. She's not even sick enough to take to the doctor; just sick enough to keep us both close to home all day. It's not excitement I crave, or variety, it's the feeling that I'm going somewhere and doing something.
It's really just a feeling I crave. Usually, the knowledge that I'm taking care of Vivian (future POTUS) and my wife (future SCOTUS) is enough to keep me happy, but I start questioning how well I'm doing that when I haven't been as productive as usual for a couple days.
Heh. I guess managing to get in a few paragraphs on this blog might count as doing something (even if it's not all that productive and took me all day). Vivian's problem seems to be getting better (pleasepleaseplease), so maybe I'll be able to take her out tomorrow after all. I hope so. It's supposed to be a beautiful day.
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