Wedding Bells

This Saturday one of my favorite people is getting married. Now I'm sure she is freaking out and all stressed and whatever getting ready for her big day, but I'd like to focus on me for a moment and how her wedding, or any wedding for that matter, stresses me out for the week leading up to it.

1. I have to plan what I'm going to wear. I never do this. I hate having to do this. I plan to wear my nicest suit. Is it clean? Of course not! It has at least two spots! Somehow my bulldog managed to get his slobber on my suit as it was hanging in a plastic bag in my closet. So not only do I have to plan to wear my suit, but I have to get it cleaned in the meantime.
2. I have to get a haircut. Normally, I would get my hair cut about 2-3 times a year: Christmas, Easter, and maybe for my mom's birthday (I either get her that or some good tequilla - the haircut is cheaper). I am a little shaggy at the moment however, and I don't want to go to a wedding looking like a big hairy mess.
3. I have to charge my beard trimmer. Yes - I have a beard and I need to trim it. There is nothing worse than trimming a beard with an under-powered set of clippers. GAH! Ow...
4. I have to plan out my shaving schedule. I have a beard, but it is a well-maintained beard and that requires me to shave my neck. By trial and error, I have found that I get the best shave by shaving every other day. Well, unfortunately, the wedding falls on an off day! So I have to shave an extra day (and deal with the resulting razor burn) in order to be in tip-top shape on Saturday.
5. I have to buy a wedding present. Actually, this is the easiest part. I'll get a card and a gift certificate to Target. Done. No big deal. But still...

Yes. I understand that I am whining like a little boy in short pants as his mother tries to get him to wear the sailor outfit to Church on Sunday because he just looks sooOOooo cute (woah - wierd flashback there...) , but I don't think us wedding guests get enough credit for how rough we have it. I mean, is an open bar really worth all this effort...?

On second thought; forget I said anything.