The End of the World

War has been declared! The troops are marching. I sat down to breakfast this morning and found that my kitchen has been invaded.

ANTS!!!

ANTS?!? Are you kidding me?! They weren't here last year, so what are they doing here now? CRAP! This is before my uber-slob of a younger brother moves in. HA! I know what I'll do... I clean the kitchen. That'll work.

Dang. Didn't work.

Apparently, they were drawn to the sugary sweetness of about 2 dozen empty soda cans waiting to be recycled. Unfortunately, one of my "neighbors" absconded with our recycle bin weeks ago. So the recycling pile on the counter was a little out of control. So I put all of that in a couple of boxes outside.

Dang. Didn't work.

Wait what's that over there...

CRUD! Ants in the dog's food bowl!

Well, that's easy to take care of. Roscoe's hungry. Throw some more food in there, and Roscoe eats the good with the bad. Done. Now just clean up the dog's eating area...

Dang. Didn't work.

The ants are still coming.

Wait - are those ants in the dishwasher!?

HA! The ants do not realize their folley! I run the dishwasher! They die horribly!

DANG! DIDN'T WORK!

The ants have sent scouts to investigate the dog bowl, the counter, and the dishwasher!!! For every scout I take out with a quick shot of industrial cleaner, two more appear in another location. Oh, no. They see me...

So now I am in my basement cowering in fear. I have to reasses my defense strategy. They have numbers on their side, and I have... Roscoe. I am so screwed.