Apartment for Rent

You should know that this fall, I will begin attending Washington Theological Union full-time. I intend to live in their student apartments there in DC. My sister has informed me that I need to find some way to pay my share of the bills at the house she and I own together while I am at school. The best way I can think of to do this it to rent out the rooms I currently call my own.

So, for a mere $735 a month, here’s some of what you get:

• A bedroom, a living room, and full bathroom.
• Access to and full use of the kitchen, upstairs living room, and deck.
• Gas fireplace, expanded basic cable, wireless internet via cable, washer and dryer
• Utilities
• Reserved parking space
• Excellent location in Centreville, VA (5-15 minutes from Farifax, Chantilly, Manassas, Gainesville, South Riding, GMU, Fair Lakes, and the Beltway)

I haven’t cleared this with my sister, but I’d be willing to knock off $100/month for anyone who is willing to take care of my dog while I’m at school. This is up in the air, though. Nancy practically begged me to let her take Roscoe home with her.

Anyone interested should email me at mzurowski@cox.net. Feel free to send this around to everyone you know.

Wedding Recap

Before you go on with this, you might want to check out Wedding Bells and Wedding Bells II just so you get the whole picture. I'm sure you have nothing else to do but read my rantings and ravings all day.

A week ago, you got a laundry list of all the hardships I had to go through to get ready for my friend's wedding this past Saturdy. Now I give you a grocery list of things I loved about the wedding! Ha! How's that for turnabout! I'm like the wind. You can't stop me!

1. The Bride. Nancy is rediculously beautiful. And, as a rule, a woman never looks better than when she is in a wedding gown. I have never seen her so happy. It was awesome to behold.
2. The Groom. Okay, I don't know Brian at all. I met him once or twice about four years ago. That being said, he looks like Toby Keith with more class. His tux was awesome.
3. Joanne, Julie, Tamara, and Vicky. I haven't seen these lovely ladies in years. I love the fact that weddings allow you to catch up with people, even a little bit. While it causes a slight pang of conscience that I haven't kept in very good touch with them (they all still live nearby except for Joanne), it enriches my heart to see them and know they are happy and doing well.
4. GOOD HOMILY by the PRIEST! Unfortunately, I cannot unlearn what I have learned, which means I listen way too closely to priests when they talk to make sure their theology is good as well as what they are saying morally and pastorally. The priest Saturday did a great job.
5. The Calamari. Omigosh - it was awesome. LaPorte's rocks.
6. The Open Bar. I enjoy drinking beer. I usually find that the love I feel for family and friend is more easilly felt and expressed when I am a little (just a little) loopy. Oh, and Danni drove so I didn't have to worry about stopping early. One suggestion for LaPorte's - Yuengling. On tap. I mean, Dominion Ale is nice, but with Yuengling, all of God's plans for beer are fulfilled.
7. Friends. Any opportunity to get together and celebrate is fantastic. It is always a treat to see Keysha, Nancy, Megan, and Danni.
8. Faith. I always find that my faith is strengthend by a wedding. My faith in the bride and groom, my faith in love, my faith in Christ, my faith in myself and my ablity to find love. It is good to get this boost on occasion. Especially when so much in my life is up in the air.

So there you have it. I may get a little irritated that it takes me a week to prepare myself for a wedding. I may complain about my haircut or getting my suit cleaned, but I recognize that such a celebration is always worth it.

The End of the World

War has been declared! The troops are marching. I sat down to breakfast this morning and found that my kitchen has been invaded.

ANTS!!!

ANTS?!? Are you kidding me?! They weren't here last year, so what are they doing here now? CRAP! This is before my uber-slob of a younger brother moves in. HA! I know what I'll do... I clean the kitchen. That'll work.

Dang. Didn't work.

Apparently, they were drawn to the sugary sweetness of about 2 dozen empty soda cans waiting to be recycled. Unfortunately, one of my "neighbors" absconded with our recycle bin weeks ago. So the recycling pile on the counter was a little out of control. So I put all of that in a couple of boxes outside.

Dang. Didn't work.

Wait what's that over there...

CRUD! Ants in the dog's food bowl!

Well, that's easy to take care of. Roscoe's hungry. Throw some more food in there, and Roscoe eats the good with the bad. Done. Now just clean up the dog's eating area...

Dang. Didn't work.

The ants are still coming.

Wait - are those ants in the dishwasher!?

HA! The ants do not realize their folley! I run the dishwasher! They die horribly!

DANG! DIDN'T WORK!

The ants have sent scouts to investigate the dog bowl, the counter, and the dishwasher!!! For every scout I take out with a quick shot of industrial cleaner, two more appear in another location. Oh, no. They see me...

So now I am in my basement cowering in fear. I have to reasses my defense strategy. They have numbers on their side, and I have... Roscoe. I am so screwed.

I give up.

I have decided that my opinion counts for JACK SQUAT! If no one listens, why should I even bother? I mean CARRIE UNDERWOOD for Pete's sake!!! CARRIE UNDERWOOD!?! Jeez. What is America coming to? I had Bo picked to win from the first time I heard him. The guy is a pro. He has more personality in his missing tooth-hole than Carrie has ever had in her life. He might be the only contestant all year that brought it sincerely and consistently every time. I even think he would be more marketable than Carrie. Her voice is soooOOOooo country, and I don't think she's got the chops to branch out into a more pop-rock style. Her first single sounds like something Faith Hill would sing. Do you remember When the Lights Go Down? What about Where are you, Christmas? Neither of these were hits on the pop charts. Carrie should have been voted out ahead of Vonzell and then worked on a career in Nashville in the footsteps of Josh Grayson, who has had at least 2 pretty good hits on country radio. I have a feeling that Bo has a longer and brighter career ahead of him anyway.

That being said, I enjoyed the show last night imensly. Arranging for the contestants to sing with established artists was a great treat. Highlights for me were Walk this Way (even though Constantine could not suck more), On Broadway, and Sweet Home Alabama.

All in all, I think I'm going to have to remind myself not to pick a winner at any point in the next year's competition. My picks are always right and so far, America has been wrong every time... 'cept for Kelly. Thank God for Kelly. She allows me to hold out some hope that America will get its act back together and get it right.

Learning as I go

HA! I figured out how to put links on my blog! Fantastic. Check out my friends' blogs and websites and see if they interest you. I highly recommend the "Strong Bad Emails." I checked that sit out a couple years ago and got hooked. Check out the "email" that hooked me. And of course, my all time favorite.

Wait, now that I think about it, there is a good chance that most of you reading this have already experienced the joy that is Strong Bad. What the heck, check it out anyway. Take a walk down memory lane to a simpler time. A time when Trogdor the Burninator was burninating the country-side and all the peasents in their thatch-roofed cottages. A time when all was right in the world.

Sam Fisher

Jack Bauer

Jack Bauer vs. Sam Fisher

Being a fan of both television's 24 and the Splinter Cell video game series, there is a question that has been rolling in my mind for a couple years now: If you put Splinter Cell's Sam Fisher up against 24's Jack Bauer in a fight to the death, who would win?

This is not a simple question and I will not be drawn into a simple answer. As with many things, it depends on the situation.

1. One-on-one hand to hand. Both characters are experts in hand to hand combat. I have seen both of them knock out highly trained mercenaries and military personell with one well-placed attack. However, in this fight, I give the edge to Jack. Sam's attacks rely on stealth and surprise. Jack, on the other hand, can kick your ass face to face. For this reason, I give it to Jack. It's a tough fight, but the end is never really in question.
2. One-on-one with weapons. Sam has the far greater arsenal. In this situation, his stealth capabilities and advanced tech take Jack out before he even gets close to Sam. Smoke grenades, sticky shockers, night vision, etc. Not to mention a kick-ass sniper rifle. This is like Sam being told to assasinate a terrorist, but the terrorist has no guards, no security, and no chance. Sam is a one-man killing machine. Jack shoots randomly into the shadows, but Sam puts him down in under 30 seconds.
3. The ultimate test. In this senario, Jack has all the resources of CTU at his disposal and his mission is to find a spy (Sam) who has infiltrated CTU. Sam's mission is to sneak into CTU and assasinate their top agent (Jack). This is the fight I dream of. Jack knows Sam is coming, and CTU is on alert. Sam has access to all kinds of intel on CTU's security and defensive capabilities. However, he is also restricted from killing any CTU personell other than Bauer. Sam's equipment and stealth abilities will be put to the ultimate test. Jack's leadership and the CTU staff will shine. It would be awesome. All of that being said, we have seen that CTU's security is not fool-proof. Little by little Sam moves through the shadows (why is it so dark in there anyway?). Jack may know he's coming, but he certainly doesn't know when or where. Security cameras start malfunctioning for no apparent reason then appear to be fine moments later. Guards just start vanishing. Jack is nervous. He puts CTU on high alert, sure that Sam is in the building. BANG! Lights go out. Chloe finds Edgar in a blubbering mess on the floor and proceeds to bitch him out for not widening the search filters on the CTU computerized security system. The next instant, she finds herself in an inescapable choke-hold with a mysteriously familiar voice whispering in her ear. After Sam forces her to disable all of CTU's automated security, he uses her as a human shield and moves confidently through the dark. Jack, meanwhile, has called former president Palmer who drops the biggest bombshell of the season: he leads a double life as the Head of Third Eschelon - he is Sam's boss and he ordered Jack's assasination. Jack's priorities shift from defense to escape. He knows CTU like the back of his hand and makes his way to the garage. This is his mistake. He believes that he is safer trying to escape than he is behind his bulletproof glass in the office. Even in the dark, his highly trained senses hear something moving toward him. He sees three unusually bright green lights floating about six feet off the ground and recognizes them as night-vision goggles. He fires! Hears the distinct sound of a body hitting the floor. An instant later, Jack is dead. Jack actually killed Chloe. Sam already had his pistol aimed at Jack's head when Jack fired. Sam succeeds in killing Jack, but Chloe's death breaks the "no kill" order and the mission is a failure. Everybody comes back to life and Sam has to start over from the beginning because some moron never bothered to save the game.

So there you have it. I'm sure there are other senarios in which Jack Bauer has a better chance, but stealth assasination is Sam's bread and butter. In fact, Sam has handled more difficult assignments than this. Note also, that Jack was virtually flawless. He did everything right. The problem for Jack is that CTU is full of incompetent boobs who aren't worthy to carry his bullet-proof jock! Sam, on the other hand, has only himself to worry about and rely on - and he is always flawless.

For your own information, Dennis Haysbert plays president Palmer on 24 and voices the head of Third Eschelon in Splinter Cell. That's for those of you who didn't get the joke.

Wedding Bells

This Saturday one of my favorite people is getting married. Now I'm sure she is freaking out and all stressed and whatever getting ready for her big day, but I'd like to focus on me for a moment and how her wedding, or any wedding for that matter, stresses me out for the week leading up to it.

1. I have to plan what I'm going to wear. I never do this. I hate having to do this. I plan to wear my nicest suit. Is it clean? Of course not! It has at least two spots! Somehow my bulldog managed to get his slobber on my suit as it was hanging in a plastic bag in my closet. So not only do I have to plan to wear my suit, but I have to get it cleaned in the meantime.
2. I have to get a haircut. Normally, I would get my hair cut about 2-3 times a year: Christmas, Easter, and maybe for my mom's birthday (I either get her that or some good tequilla - the haircut is cheaper). I am a little shaggy at the moment however, and I don't want to go to a wedding looking like a big hairy mess.
3. I have to charge my beard trimmer. Yes - I have a beard and I need to trim it. There is nothing worse than trimming a beard with an under-powered set of clippers. GAH! Ow...
4. I have to plan out my shaving schedule. I have a beard, but it is a well-maintained beard and that requires me to shave my neck. By trial and error, I have found that I get the best shave by shaving every other day. Well, unfortunately, the wedding falls on an off day! So I have to shave an extra day (and deal with the resulting razor burn) in order to be in tip-top shape on Saturday.
5. I have to buy a wedding present. Actually, this is the easiest part. I'll get a card and a gift certificate to Target. Done. No big deal. But still...

Yes. I understand that I am whining like a little boy in short pants as his mother tries to get him to wear the sailor outfit to Church on Sunday because he just looks sooOOooo cute (woah - wierd flashback there...) , but I don't think us wedding guests get enough credit for how rough we have it. I mean, is an open bar really worth all this effort...?

On second thought; forget I said anything.