Monday, November 15, 2010

Favorite Tweets of the Weekend

Tim Thraeryn
If you can read this, I hope you're happy. If you're NOT happy, I hope it changes quickly. <3
 
Rian van der Merwe
Here's your weekend reading. You're welcome. "The glorious return of the high five" -
 
themuskrat
Which one of you assholes gave my 4yo cymbals?
 
Commonweal Magazine
Patrick J. Ryan, SJ: Confessions of a five-minute atheist
 
FEMINIST HULK
CHOOSING BETWEEN TWO RIGIDLY DEFINED GENDERS: LIKE TRYING TO PAINT PORTRAIT WITH ONLY MAUVE OR TEAL. HULK SMASH BINARY!
 
dadofdivas
Fatherhood Friday Tips and Advice – Portland Dad
 
christopher
I want to move to New York.
 
The Kid's Doctor
News study: teens are waiting longer to have sex but still taking risks. Parents, talk to your kids!
 
Jason Mayo
My lizard had a normal bowel movement today and I did too. Our male version of menstrual synchrony.
 
Hugh Weber
Was pretty sure I had a squirrel in the car. After 10 minutes of trying to get it out, I realized it was just an empty taco bag. Sad.
 
Neil Gaiman
Taxi driver just told me there was no such place as airport Hilton, and showed me the list of airports his GPS had given him to prove it.
 
Neil Gaiman
Taxidriver drove me to a bank and said "the Machine says here" Me: points to high building with big red Hilton sign on top. "Maybe there?"
 
Aaron Gouveia
From this day forward, the term "jackwagon" will be my preferred insult of choice.
 
The Good Men Project
Congratulations, ! Boxing legend and a GoodMan in our book.
 
CoupleDumb
TheJackB
Junior high memories: Some Wounds Take Longer To Heal
 
Huffington Post
WATCH: George W. Bush & Kanye West Reconcile On 'Weekend Update'
 
Ms. Magazine
RT @: "Do you think is in crisis?" Via @: How did get less manly?
 
NPR News
Out Of The Closet ... In The Pulpit Of A Megachurch
 
Jezebel
A Call to Arms (And Abs, Quads, Calves, and Shoulders)
 
The Good Men Project
But “is that manly enough?” | What do you think?
 
Darth Vader
For those of you who asked, all I want for Sithmas is my two legs back.
 
Conan O'Brien
My favorite thing about November? Limited Edition Turkey M&M’s.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Stewart, Maddow and Koppel

In the aftermath of John Stewart's Rally To Restore Sanity and/or Fear and the recent 2-day suspension of Keith Olberman for unauthorized political contributions, some of us have started thinking a bit about the role of the media in American political discourse.  How has that role changed?  What should that role be? 

Stewart got beat up by liberal pundits after his rally for committing the apparently unforgivable sin of "false equivalency," or painting liberal and conservative media with the same broad brush.  He spoke with Rachel Maddow recently, and they went back and forth for over an hour.  In my opinion, she consistently misunderstands him, and the distinctions she makes about how MSNBC is different from Fox News (other than the obvious) aren't really convincing.  Both of them get it wrong in their belief that Fox News supported George W. Bush no matter what; they seem to forget about the immigration debate and TARP.  If you have an hour, though, it is a great interview to watch. 

I can't wait to hear what Olberman and Maddow have to say about this opinion column in The Washington Post by Ted Koppel.  Much like Stewart, he blames the polarization of the media for the increasing polarization of American political discourse.  With journalistic ethics and in-depth coverage seemingly going out the window in favor of profits and cheap talk, there can be no national conversation.  Two sides trying to shout louder than each other is what television cable news gives us.  No one really hears anything.  And nothing really gets accomplished. 

Gridlock is in the air, America.  The Constitution was written in such a way that compromise between opposing sides is necessary in order to pass legislation.  If the polarized media on each side continues to encourage an American citizenry which refuses to allow their elected leaders to compromise, nothing can be done, and the status quo, however ineffective, unjust, or incompetent will remain firmly in place.

Friday, November 12, 2010

How to Be A Stay-At-Home-Dad: Step 2

FINISH IT!

Fatherhood Friday at Dad BlogsI write this advice not as someone who actually took it.  Absolutely everyone I knew and everyone who cared about me gave me this advice and I all but ignored it.  This is a "do as I say and not as I didn't do when I should have done..." bit of advice.

If you have something on your plate, like an education, a thesis (me!), a class, a project, a dissertation etc. which you aspire to complete, get it done before you take the leap to stay-at-home-dad.

In my case, I had begun a master's degree a few years before my daughter was born and only had to complete my thesis.  I put off my thesis for a year before, and then I learned I was going to be a daddy.  Instead of dropping everything and finishing my thesis as quickly as possible (it's pass/fail after all), I made little real progress while distracting myself with all the other preparations for the arrival of my daughter.  Yes, I spent time writing and reading and note-taking, but at no time did I buckle down and get it done.

For the past two and a half years since her birth, I have struggled to make time and give energy to my paper.  After a full day of taking care of an infant (now toddler) and her mother, I struggled to do anymore than read a few pages and take a few notes.  We currently have our daughter in day care three days a week just so I can finish it this semester, fully 4 1/2 years after I finished classes.

The mere fact of this unfinished project has hung around my neck like a millstone for the duration of my life as a father.  My previous inactivity and apparent inability to get it done made me feel like a failure even as I was succeeding to all outward appearances in taking care of my two ladies.  Not being finished with this important project has raised my baseline stress level, and when you add the stress of keeping an infant alive and happy, keeping a wife happy and lively, keeping a home happy and livable, and managing the day-to-day business of happy living... ugh.  Let's just say that being a stay-at-home-dad has been more stressful for me than it needed to be.  It's my own doing.  Had I finished my thesis before my daughter was born, I am sure everyone in this family would have been a lot happier for the past 32 months.  When I finally turn in my paper this month, I look forward to a lower baseline stress level, a better self-image, and a happier family altogether.  I set my watch and warrant on it.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Drawing from My Distant Past #7

I don't think I ever gave this guy a name.  I had a vague idea to draw darker, more violent characters after the creators at Image Comics gave us characters like Spawn, Deathblow, and The Maxx.  This character is not very original in appearance, but I found it easy to draw faces in deep shadow.  I therefore decided that this character's face would always be in deep shadow.
Deep shadow also means you don't have to draw feet apparently, and even a couple years later (I think I drew this guy in 1993) I still refused to draw fingers.  I should have just cast the hands into deep shadow too, but probably figured, "I'll just draw the outline and get to the fingers and shadows... NEVER! Check out the awesomely huge signature!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Memory Inventory: Senior Year Memories

I can only imagine how ridiculous someone's senior year in high school must be these days.  Even way back in 1995, there were all these weird products and expectations and things you had to buy in order to preserve the memories forever.  Along with name cards, invitations, announcements, and photos, for some reason the "package" I chose came with a shiny black book entitled Senior Year Memories.  I still have it, even though only a few pages contain anything memorable.

Apparently the expectation was to fill in the pages with all the details you were supposed to remember from your senior year.  Unfortunately for me, I didn't receive it until May or June and therefore had forgotten most of what I was supposed to remember.  By that point, the homecoming dance back in October was a distant memory, the swim season had been finished for 2 months.  My mind was on the future (as usual) and not on the recent past.

The few pages that contain any writing don't really help me recall any memories at all.  Instead, they draw my mind to those relationships from high school and how they developed or diminished over the past 15 years.  The "Signatures" pages contain entire pages written by friends, most of whom I haven't even spoken to in years.

But there are a couple pages which stand out.  A couple pages that I look at now and wonder to myself, "How could I have been so blind?"  For those who don't know, I went to high school with my wife.  We dated for a little over a year, but had broken up.  By the end of senior year, we were back to being really good close friends.  There was a page at the front of the book where you were supposed to write down your thoughts about "a special friend."  Here's a bit of what I wrote about her: 
"She was my first girlfriend and my first kiss.  She is one of the strongest and weakest people I have ever known.  Sometimes she needs to lean on me, and I am a willing crutch.  Sometimes she just needs a hug, and I am a happy supplier."
 A few pages later, on one of the "Signatures" pages, she wrote back.  I'm not going to quote her here because I haven't asked her, but rereading these two pages now, I see the connection which continued to draw us together over the course of our very different lives.  Over the past 15 years since that time, we've drifted together, apart, lost track, back together, and fell in love.  After scanning the six or so pages that actually contain written memories into the old HP, I tossed them and the rest of the book in the trash (I'm cleaning house here).  But these two pages aren't going anywhere.  I'm going to frame them, hang them up, and keep them close to me for the rest of my life.  Just like I'm going to hold her for the rest of my life.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Changing My Blog's Name

I began this blog in 2005 using the name "Zuke."  I chose that name because is was my grandfather's nickname and, even though I can barely remember him (he passed when I was very young), I always felt some sort of connection to him when I wrote on this blog.  I've written about memory before, and though I wasn't really remembering him, I was certainly calling him to mind.

Recently I've written a few things on my blog related to my opinions about the institutions and hierarchy of the Catholic Church.  It was brought to my attention that my grandfather may have disagreed with or taken offense at some of the things I've said regarding our current pope, and that by expressing my opinions with his name in my blog's title I was dishonoring his memory.  Whether or not I agree with this sentiment, I have no wish to even appear to do anything of the sort, especially if it damages relationships which I hold very dear.  

Now I'm only using my initial, "Z" in my blog's title.  I've also changed the web address to http://yourdailyz.blogspot.com.  I'll be making the rounds to the sites where I am listed and making the appropriate changes there as well. 

Make no mistake: I am not planning to change my opinions or shy away from expressing them as forcefully as I can, but if I am being uncharitable or cross a rhetorical line, I need to know it.  Post a comment, write a response, link me, whatever.  I love a good debate, and over the years I've been known to change my opinion, no matter what you've heard.  

I am going to take some good advice and let things simmer a little before I post about them.  Not everything requires an immediate response; some things need more time and consideration.  I'm going to do my best to discern which is which.

Monday, November 08, 2010

The Church of England Falls

Okay, I may have overstated the issue with that title, but after reading this article by Tim Ross at the Telegraph.co.uk my plans to review last Friday's episode of Smallville are officially on hold. 

Some of you may already be familiar with the many problems I have with the institutions of the Roman Catholic Church.  Recently, as Ross notes in his article, the Pope created an opportunity for Anglican Bishops to leave the Church of England and enter into full communion with Rome.  The hierarchy essentially marketed this opportunity to the most conservative members of the Anglican communion.  The basic pitch was, "we in the magisterium of the Roman Catholic Church  have stubbornly refused to make those changes in our institutions required by the commitment to justice found in our theology - like allowing for the ordination of women - which your church has adopted.  We know that this pisses you off because you identify faithful Christianity with institutional sexism.  Here's a way to have your sexism and your Anglican liturgy all in one.  All you gotta do is leave the Church of England and join up with Rome."  I've already dealt with my personal struggles regarding this marketing of injustice and what it means for me as a self-identifying Catholic in a post some time ago.  But what does it mean for the Church of England and the Roman Catholic Church in the future as this marketing is bearing fruit?

First of all, it is nice that the most sexist and homophobic bishops in the Anglican Church are so helpful in identifying themselves.  I'm sure most of the Church of England already knew who they were before hand, but that kind of openness eludes us in the Catholic Church most of the time.  If there are differences of opinion about the treatment of women and homosexuals among the bishops of the Catholic Church in the US, we'd be hard pressed to find them.  The resignation of 5 bishops from the Church of England to join into full communion with Rome identifies them and where they stand.
The five are said to be “dismayed” at the liberal reforms to the Church in recent decades and intend to join the Ordinariate in pursuit of “unity” with Rome when the new body is established next year.
While I'm sure there are those in the Church of England who are glad to have these most blatant sexists leave their fold, I am also disturbed that they are finding welcome in the Roman Catholic Church.  I, and progressive Catholics like me, continue to hold out hope that, as time moves forward and the sinful institutionalization of sexism in the hierarchical structures of the Catholic Church becomes less and less tenable, the bishops will call for the end to the prohibition of the ordination of women.  It will take courageous bishops and a courageous pontiff.  However, the current crop of bishops and their pope cling to the sexism which they believe insures their continued power and influence.  Benedict XVI has continued to reach out, in the name of Christian unity, to the most radical conservative elements in the Roman Church and now in the Anglican Church.  This will have repercussions for decades if not generations. 

On the other hand, these five bishops will soon find, no doubt, that communion with Rome has downsides as well.  Within the Anglican communion, bishops have had much more autonomy than bishops in the Roman Catholic Church have.  These bishops may find the bonds of unity with Rome to be more restrictive than they like.  And, of course, there is always the chance (slim and growing slimmer with each new bishop and each new cardinal) that our next pope - or the one after that - will  be a man of courage and justice; someone who will recognize the face of Christ in the women who have been serving in roles of leadership in local parishes and dioceses for so long.  Where will these bishops and their respective flocks turn should a new pope make a new policy?  We will probably have some sort of schism again.  They and their ilk will go their own way and claim the rest of the church apostate and heretical.  The fact of the matter remains that the majority of the world is extremely sexist and homophobic.  Sexist and homophobic doctrines and structures will continue to appeal to people all over the world for a long time to come.  I wish they weren't so hell-bent on making those rather theologically insignificant doctrines (though not practically insignificant) the main selling point for Christian faith moving forward.

What we will have is a church bound together, not by the love of Christ, but by common hatred of women and homosexuals.  There is nothing in the gospel of Jesus Christ which requires Christians to hate, exclude, denigrate, or belittle anyone.  And yet, on the basis of all these things, the pope and these five bishops claim they are working for the cause of Christian unity.  There is nothing Christian about sexism.  There is nothing Christian about homophobia.  The great tragedy of our age is that these two things have become identical with Christianity in the minds of, well, just about everyone; believers and non-believers alike.  Only a handful of progressive Christians see it differently.  Hopefully these prophets will be heard or these injustices will continue to be perpetrated in the name of Christ.