It's like some kind of nightmare!

I just found the following words on the care label of a sweater I had to wash and IT IS MY SWEATER:  "reshape and lay flat to dry"!?!  How have I been living like this for all these years.  Who gave me this sweater?  Surely, I would never have purchased a sweater with these most hateful of care instructions!  What kind of a person would ever give a super-thick, knit turtleneck sweater that you have to lay out on towels for two to three days to a guy like me?  Someone diabolical, that's who!  Ooooh!  If only I could remember who gave this to me, I would definitely dedicate a few more paragraphs in this blog to shame them for their folly!  As it stands, I'll have to settle for taking this sweater to Goodwill... in two or three days after it dries.